Cancer Update: Happy Birthday to My Little Monster
This week marks a year since I learned I had breast cancer. I didn’t get all the info in one dramatic moment as you see in the movies. No meeting in a doctor’s office with my husband holding my hand and the marquee line, “I’m sorry Mrs. Cameron…it’s cancer…”. Instead, I went for a mammogram, and the nurse came out to tell me I should come back for an ultrasound. Then, I was told in a hallway by a nurse that the doctor saw something that looked like something concerning and I needed a biopsy. I convinced myself that it could still be nothing or next to nothing. Surely, if it was serious, I’d be in that beige office learning about what to do next.
"Keep Looking Forward"
5" x 7”
Oil Acrylic Graphite on Wood
No Doctor called me; no one talked to me before I was thrown into the quagmire that is scheduling follow-up care and testing. Our local hospital can rot for the way they spoke to me, and I’ll never forgive my primary for not even picking up the phone to discuss my results. The first doctor I saw about the Big C was the man performing the needle biopsy, who was stunned that no one had spoken to me about my diagnosis as it was clear to him, even before the biopsy, that I had cancer, and it was just a matter of knowing the details. He called me from his vacation the next day to confirm what everyone saw but was too busy or inept to talk me through. I will be forever grateful to him and Misty, the nurse navigator in his office, who navigated me toward better care!
From that moment on, it has been like falling down the stairs in slow motion as each new treatment begets a new plan, follow-up, side effect, or question to be pondered. I finally have a new primary in a different hospital system, who I am scheduled to see for the first time next week. The bar is low, I just hope he would call me if I had cancer. I have one more surgery next month (hopefully) and then will be left to manage ongoing medications at home (hopefully). I never rang a bell or got the “you’re cured, yay!”. Just sitting here at the bottom of the stairs, feeling battered but ready climb back up. Grateful it wasn’t worse but still reeling from how bad it was.
I’m still processing what it all means, what I’ve learned, and where to go from here. I’m missing huge chunks of my life from 2024. I can’t remember summer, but I know I was here and moving through it. The EOB’s say so.
Roots
10" x 10"
Oil Acrylic Graphite on Canvas
So, happy birthday to my little monster. You were growing for longer than I knew you, and traveling with you has been torturous, with dealing with the healthcare system and insurance companies topping the list of indignities. Physical challenges are rough but nothing compared to fighting for care you don’t even want.
If you’re traveling this road, I see you. It sucks.
Click on the images to learn more and purchase work from my Etsy shop and thank you all for the continued love, care, kindness and support!
