I want to emphasize the fact that we all have the same experience and the same concern, but the artist must know exactly what the experience is. He must pursue the truth relentlessly. Once he sees this fact his feet are on the path. If you want to know the truth you will know it. The manipulation of materials in an artwork is a result of this state of mind. The artist works by awareness of his own state of mind.

-Agnes Martin

I want to crush the reactive pace that keeps my feet off the path.

"Get things done in order to get other things done," is not serving my summer schedule well. Prioritizing time and intensity is scary. I'm afraid of the worst monster I can imagine. The one that screams, "It's not worth it."

I'm feeling the lack of clarity more acutely as I take the time to focus on it; like shining a headlight on fog.

Also PMS.

Save me today Agnes Martin. I can't slow down. I need to slow down.

Exercise in Futility9" x 12"Acrylic, Graphite, Pastels on Paper — Exercise in Futility
9" x 12"
Acrylic, Graphite, Pastels on Paper

Today I taught myself the basics of GoPro Studio editing software and invited any interested children to join me. Both my girls are YouTube super fans.

I'm reminded of the summer of 1981 when I spent nearly every day in August in my basement watching the newly launched, MTV. I was almost exactly Layla's age.

It was formative.

I turned out ok. Pretty much.

I am realizing quickly I need to up my video game in order to capture hearts and minds of the YouTube generation. I can see where this could become an endless pursuit of customs, norms and digital skill that I'm not sure I want to pursue. I'm glad I did it instead of letting my anxiety about getting it right keep me from growing and learning. I learned a lot.

Things I learned today:

1. The basics of how to edit on Go Pro Studio
2. My kids can get their own breakfast even if I'm not nagging them.
3. Keeping focused, keeps me from nagging.
4. Sabrina can be trusted with my paints.
5. It is impossible to edit video and paint at the same time.

These are works in progress by Sabrina and me. I didn't get to finish this or listen to Marc Maron. It was a really good day though.